She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
