i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
