trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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