I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
