i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
