Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
