she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
