i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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