new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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