I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
