He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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