I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
