His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
