he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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