I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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