Non-Jews are for practice
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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