So drunk its hurt
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
