im drinking this country out of the recession.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
