I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All the doctor said was why
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
