careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
