Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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