Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
