Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
