WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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