Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
my poor anus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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