You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
