So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
