i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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