you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
