it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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