One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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