normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
