O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
