Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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