Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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