His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
