How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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