i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
