Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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