Got a toothbrush?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
