even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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