No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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