i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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