I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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