i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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