He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
