I will die if light touches me.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
