her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
