Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
