Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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