i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
