I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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